Those years, those feelings
I have been watching the program “if you are the one” all the time, or I still have a vision of love, or I want to understand something from it, or I am singing like the theme of the program: one step forward is happiness. Step back is lonely. Step back to see more clearly. Love can’t be unclear. Yeah. How can love be unclear! Just like my first love in the green onion era, although there was no result, it was still full of good memories. We are classmates who graduated from grade 5 to junior high school and have been deskmates all the time. I still remember that she always wore a black round dot coat on a white background. Although it is very old, it is very clean, with two long twist braids, laughing like the wind chimes, crisp and pleasant. The happiest thing every day is to do eye exercises in her Oriole-like password. I can’t help opening my eyes to see her serious appearance. Her small face like an apple and a pair of big flashing eyes watched each of our classmates. I quickly narrowed my eyes into a crack, pretend to do it seriously, that is, at that time, it was those eyes. Those eyes like Lake water deeply reflected my heart because I had been living in school. Her home is close to the school. Every morning she would tell me the TV she watched at night. I remember that it was “desire” that swept the whole country in the second grade. She said that the hero in it was kind, hardworking, not afraid of hardship, and good to his wife. I immediately said that I would be good to my wife. When you grow up, you should be my wife. She was flushed with red face, grabbed the book and hit me. I stood up and ran away. She was chasing her teeth behind, and I immediately said joking. How dare I marry you? You are so fierce. Hi, everyone laughed. Later, she put the eraser in the middle of the desk and wrote me the details of the questions I couldn’t know on the scratch paper. Goodbye she was on a fair, she helped her mother. Because in the crowd, I only heard her say to an acquaintance: it is much better now. I can only lie on the bed when I just came back. It’s still like a silver bell, still so bright, still so sunny. At that moment, I was moved to tears. Because we only met several times after graduation. Although we talked about everything every time, we didn’t talk about the topic of love. Later, I heard that she went to a good factory in the South to work. I think she must come back this time because of her mother. What a kind and filial girl, isn’t this Zhang Huifang from desire? I walked up and she saw me. A little surprise flashed through my eyes. We found a place for her mother to sit down together, as I expected, because her mother was too ill and money was not the only solution. She wants to take care of her mother by herself. When she said this, she couldn’t see any depression or pessimism on her face. At that time, a warm current suddenly flowed in my heart, which was so warm and happy. A year later, I went to the south and wrote to her for the first time. In fact, I didn’t know the specific address of her home very well, but just wrote the approximate address. Maybe it was really fate. Her neighbor just had a letter. She received the letter. Seeing her enthusiastic reply, I was elated and excited to sleep all night and wrote a reply overnight, in the letter, I expressed my admiration for her. You are as pure and beautiful as the pigeons flowers in the mountain, as perseverant as the peaks in Zhangjiajie, not excited or inferior. Thank God for letting me know you. Although we are separated from each other now, as long as I think of you, I feel that I am the happiest person in the world, I love you. I can’t wait to go to the Post Office to send it by Express. Three days later, she also sent a reply by express mail. Leek blossom and fine Velvet. If you have a heart, you are not afraid of being poor. As long as the friendship between the two is good, the cold water makes tea gradually thick. I went to the telephone booth to call her immediately after work. I used the boss’s landline in the hall without a place, telling my love loudly, sing this song, which represents the love of our local families, loudly. I didn’t care about the surprised eyes of people in the hall at all. It seems that there are only us in the world at this moment. From then on, a letter of express passed on our lovesickness, and the phone call once every two days told us that we were old and desolate. At that time, it was the time when “return to Pearl grid” was in full swing, we swear that we must be like Xiangfei and her lover: You are the wind I am sand, the wind blows, and the sand flies like Ziwei and Erkang: The mountain has no Ling. Heaven and Earth dare to decide. At that time, we all believed that we would hold our hands and grow old together. A year later, she learned to have a haircut and opened a barber shop. She asked me to come back to take care of it with her. I felt young and energetic: I am man, how can I let her be my boss. There are more quarrels between us. Later, she heard some rumors from her classmates that she had a boyfriend. I questioned her. She was very angry that she had it. I hung up the phone without saying anything. In the following days, I was in a trance, just like a walking corpse, but I didn’t contact her stubbornly. I would rather cry secretly alone, I won’t tell anyone if I lose 15 Jin a month. She came to a letter, saying that everything was misunderstood. There were so many people in the barber shop every day, and it was inevitable that a girl opened a shop with rumors. I don’t believe it. No reply. At that time, I stubbornly thought that everything would pass soon, and I would have more perfect love waiting for me. Now ten years have passed, and I met her by accident when I came home last year. She just got married. When we talked about those years, she said very seriously: I have been waiting for you. I said sorry with a smile and difficulty. I have experienced feelings over the years, but the most unforgettable thing is that first love. I know she has been engraved in my bone marrow because I am young and frivolous, even young and ignorant. I don’t know what it means to cherish and let me miss such a good person. Now think about it, in my subconscious mind, I am not waiting for her to come back to me. The day before yesterday, I received a text message from her: The past cannot be returned, so let him stay in our memory and treasure it forever. Life has to continue. Yes, love it when you love it. Keep going. The next step is happiness, right? Hey. But it must not be like those things in those years, which are not clear. 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